Why do Morning Pages?
And a terrible pun about a pudding.
It’s 4th October 2014. I’m at a friend’s 50th. As I hover over the retro home-baking (a cake from every decade) I over-hear a conversation that makes my ears prick-up. A woman next to the arctic roll is talking to her friend about ‘Morning Pages’.
I’d heard of Morning Pages at a retreat I’d been to a few years back. I’d been curious enough to buy ‘the book’ but not curious enough at the time to do anything with it.
Yet something about the enthusiasm in her voice made me want to find out more—I just had to muscle-in on the conversation. Actually, it was more of a shuffle and a wee nudge. I’m not big on muscling-in. Far too polite for that!
Turns out she’s a journalist. She’d always wanted to write a novel but had never found the motivation. Someone said she should do Morning Pages, she thought she’s give it a go, got hooked, and couldn’t believe the impact it was having on her life.
Fast forward 12 hours. I’m sitting up in bed. Pen in hand. Ready to do my first Morning Pages.
‘So what are these Morning Pages you speak of?’ I hear you ask.
In the words of Julia Cameron author of The Artist’s Way (aka ‘the book’) —
Set your alarm clock to ring half an hour earlier than usual: get up and do three pages of longhand stream-of-consciousness writing. Do not reread these pages or allow anyone else to read them. Ideally stick these pages in a large Manila envelope or set them aside and hide them somewhere. Welcome to Morning Pages. They will change you.
Did I lose you at ‘Set your alarm clock to ring half an hour earlier ..’? I think Julia lost me there too. Perhaps why I was never more than a little bit curious.
There are very few things that really annoy me—but hell-mend you if you steal my sleep! And I don’t care if you’re a 'best-selling author, playwright, songwriter, artist, poet and screenwriter with one of the most effective tools for cultivating creativity and personal growth’. At least I didn’t … but things can change. And for some reason on the morning of the 5th October 2014 I decided it was time to do just that!
Because after all—who wouldn’t give up half an hour each morning to have the same level of unbridled enthusiasm about life as I had witnessed in a woman with a half-eaten plate of rapidly melting arctic roll?
Julia Cameron began doing Morning Pages 20 years ago when she felt stuck with creative block. Three pages of free-writing every morning got her creativity flowing again. She went on to create a process for other stuck creatives which she taught via workshops and her massively successful book ‘The Artist’s Way’.
Back in 2014 I didn’t have any problems with creative block. Or rather—I had so many other things to deal with that my lack of creativity was the least of my worries. But I did feel blocked. I was stuck in self-defeating patterns—there was no doubt about that!
So there I am pillows propped-up.
Pad in hand and pen at the ready.
But what to write?
Well—the main thing about Morning Pages is that you don’t think about what to write and then write it down. You simply write your thoughts as soon as they come into your head. And that means ALL your thoughts. No editing—remember?
If you think “I don’t know what to write …” You write down ‘I don’t know what to write’. If you think “I should really get up and put a washing on …” you write down ‘I should really get up and put a washing on …’ Write down your thoughts as fast as they come into your mind. Don’t plan. Don’t edit. Don’t read what you’ve written. Just write. Write until you’ve filled 3 full A4 pages or (if you’re across the pond) a letter page. Then stop. Put the pen down. And get on with your day.
A number of things became apparent as soon as I started to do Morning Pages. First up—I quickly realised that my thoughts had to slow down and my hand-writing had to speed up so that hand and mind could became coherent. As they did the Morning Pages took on a meditative quality. There’s no doubt that my handwriting became completely illegible but as no one was going to read what I’d written—that didn’t matter at all. And as I definitely wouldn’t have wanted anyone to read what I’d written —it was an absolute blessing!
Secondly—I can write fast. So Morning Pages don’t actually take me half an hour. More like 20 minutes tops!
Thirdly—if I’m going to spend 20 minutes every morning pouring my thoughts out onto a piece of paper I’m going to bore myself back to sleep if the most interesting thought which comes in to my head is about laundry. But given a blank page, my unconscious mind was not that fussed about laundry (Who knew?) and much more likely to off-load an unedited out-pouring of anger and disappointment.
Back in 2014 I had that in spades. But there’s something about getting your anger out and onto a piece of paper that helps change perspective.
Which brings me to the fourth point. Morning Pages is the perfect place to be your own best friend. I have lots of great friends I could talk things through with. But no-one wants to be an energy-vampire so I’m never going to talk at them for 20 minutes non-stop as I off-load the tonne of emotional baggage I’ve been lugging around.
Morning Pages isn’t just a place to off-load. It’s also a place to express compassion for whichever part of yourself needs it most. There’s something very powerful about the act of writing by hand. It seems to diffuse high emotion. I quickly got into the habit of following a page of ranting with a page where I became my very own best pal—there every morning to quietly help me build-up my self-worth.
By page three I would be feeling pretty uplifted so this seemed like the perfect opportunity to let my imagination run wild with plans and dreams for the future. Enter my personal motivational speaker who believed I could have whatever I wanted. What I really wanted was to be happy and have someone lovely to love—who loved me back. If history is anything to go by this seemed like a pretty tall order. But a girl can dream. And dream I did!
I wrote Morning Pages every morning from the 5th October 2104 until the 8th April 2015. This is not long compared with how long some people do Morning Pages but it was long enough for me at the time. During those 6 months I gradually became happier, calmer and more confident than I had ever been and I met the man who perfectly matched the description I had written in my Morning Pages. He is now my husband. And we are very very happy.
What I hadn’t expected was that Morning Pages also helped my creativity to gradually return. It was almost as if I had taken my creative inner child by the hand—and very gently led her out of the dusty basement and into the light. I’m not sure why I was surprised by that. That’s exactly what Morning Pages is designed to do. But, at the time, to me it seemed like an added bonus!
I stopped doing Morning Pages quite suddenly on holiday in Palma. And didn’t go back to them. Until 3 weeks ago!
So why have I gone back to Morning Pages? Well this is the fifth and final point.
Do you ever have times when you feel like you have to push at life? Everything seems to be a struggle? Little seems to go your way?
Yet at other times you can just go with the flow. You seem to be in the right place at the right time. The parking space appears just as you need it. You wonder about something—and the answer appears from a random source shortly after. There are happy accidents. Chance meetings. Moments of synchronicity.
Life is supporting you.
Not working against you.
That’s what happened when I began to do Morning Pages. I’d find myself saying ‘Wow! What are the chances of that?’ a lot more often than the rules of probability would allow. That felt sooooo darn good! And it’s never gone away.
But now my creative-self is in full flow. I paint virtually every day. I love making art and I don’t have any sense of a creative block. However I’m curious about what would happen if the flow was cranked up—what would happen if my creativity was amplified?
Morning Pages are meditative and pleasantly addictive. And besides—there are always things to deal with in life. We are currently in lockdown which has brought its own weirdness and unique issues. I haven’t seen my family and friends for three months now—so it feels good to chat with my inner best pal and motivational speaker for 20 minutes every morning. It’s good to get it all out—before it builds up. Daily free-writing feels cathartic. In fact I’d say that now I’m in the habit of doing Morning Pages every day—I’m on a bit of a cathartic roll!
Caroline x
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